Lum'sblog

2011-02-09T20:56:00.000Z

An excerpt below from another article on mental strategies to deal with fatigue in extreme endurance events. Written by an old friend of mine about training for, and completing a channel swim.

"Replicating the most difficult part of the event will require getting the individual into a highly fatigued state and asking them to produce a high-quality performance. There are several different ways to induce a highly fatigued state; back-to-back hard training sessions, inadequate nutrition, and poor sleep strategies have all been used. Once in this fatigued state, the athlete should spend more time than usual mentally preparing before the session starts. Although mental preparation should be a part of every session, this is an opportunity to further enhance beliefs that he/she has the ability to cope with extreme fatigue in environmentally challenging conditions."

The full article is here: http://www.pponline.co.uk/encyc/david-walliams-endurance-swimming-coach-reveals-all-39465

2011-01-31T20:40:00.000Z

You know the sport's gaining some recognition when the Daily Mail try to take the piss...! (And, typically, they get it wrong)

2010-12-27T16:48:00.000Z

As some may know, i'm a fan of barefoot running for a few reasons, so imagine the pleasure to find out that for a mere 220 quid I can " give the gift" of barefoot running to others... Brilliant!!

Take off shoes...
Run...

Err...

2010-12-11T14:35:00.002Z

Gotta love this... :-)

2010-12-03T16:32:00.002Z

liking this idea....buggered if the battery goes though..?

2010-11-28T18:05:00.001Z

Interesting article in 'Larvae' magazine recently about the psychology of 'pain' and athletic endurance performance:

" Therein lies the essential paradigm shift required to get deep into into the pain cave. For Richard Roll it's not about a goal that's worth the pain - it's reaching a level of pain that makes the goal worthy. "All the miles and hours of preparation builds me up physically and mentally to do what I set out to do with my body" he says. For me, by the time I step to the starting line, the race is over. I'm going to succeed. The race itself is a form of active meditation on everything I've done. It's literally a celebration of the journey to get there".

The complete article is here: http://www.lavamagazine-digital.com/lavamagazine/201012?sub_id=MMphIIbphiqz#pg133

2010-11-22T19:05:00.003Z

SUNDAY
UP WITH THE LARK (THE ONE THAT GETS UP AT 7.45 WITH BLEARY EYES AND A SLIGHTLY BEERY HEAD). TOO LONG OVER BREAKFAST. SEEM TO BE BACK ON THE CAFFIENE IN A SERIOUS WAY. NEED A FEW DAYS WITHOUT. OR WAIT TIL NEW YEAR RESOLUTION TIME? OUT FOR AN HOURS MUDDY FUN ON THE CROSS BIKE. QUICK BITE AND A BIT MORE COFFEE. 2H DRIVE (SENSIBLE SPEED). MORE CAFFIENE AND NEW BRUCE FOR COMPANY. RACE WATCHING / SUPPORTING TIME. STOOD IN THE FRIGGING COLD FOR TWO HOURS. WARMED BY THE EFFORTS OF OTHERS. :-) GO TEAM. HAPPY ATHLETES - HAPPY COACH. INJURED ATHLETES - NVH COACH... DRIVE HOME. 1H 45. SENSIBLEISH SPEED. MORE BRUCE. LOUD...NEEDED MORE CAFFIENE. OUT FOR QUICK RUN ROUND WOMBUN IN THE DARK. ACHILLES COMPLAINING AGAIN. WHY NOW? BUGGER. COUPLE OF HOURS 'WORK'. VEG....

2010-11-20T12:06:00.004Z

As we all suspected - they're all a bunch of wankers at that Luffbraaa

2010-10-30T10:34:00.006+01:00

Yeah, yeah, I know.....

So... how've you been?

Me? Great!

Here's the quarterly blog offering:

A couple of weeks since 'The Race' (er...Kona..), gut reactions to it are back where they belong, and it seems an appropriate time for some calm, collected post race analysis.
That, and I'm stuck at 35000ft for the next few hours with bugger all else to do...

But before that; about all those pre race goals,

hmmm...

Right, first up; the swim targets. Lets be honest, I didn't even get close, which accounts for race day 'performance' - more on this below. Definately a project for the winter / next season methinks.

I never got to ride to Tywyn (or back), but then again I only had about 3 weeks at home all summer, so I'll forgive myself this one I think. The 'Avoriaz' challenge pretty much happened as planned, although I bailed out after four times up. However, as this took an emotional 6 hours, with 4 hours of 'up', and a some serious soul
searching after #2...I'm having that one if that's alright.

The 5k of climbing in one day? Dunno, probably got close on an epic 8hr Alpine day when Lucy 'The Gossanator'ripped my legs off!
And the 200k ride in Malaysia? Well...got in 190+k, so I'm having that one aswell!
I didn't get close to the 100 rides in 100 days, but might carry that one over to the winter / spring.

And the 17h 26 mins in 2 days (the length of my training playlist BTW..)? Nah...

OK, so to the race then.

Firstly, my day out: (second IM and second race of 2010)

the Swim

Was never going to be as quick as previously given the lack of pool time for the last few years, and I got exactly what I expected time-wise and had a nice, comfortable cruise around Kailua bay. The fish are still pretty too..

the Bike

Again, no real dramas...Nutrition / hydration worked well and conditions were pretty good, probably the best I've experienced in Hawaii. But I was definately missing a gear in the last 30 miles or so, though. I usually want to be feeling and riding at my strongest in the last third of the bike, but Mary's dress wasn't really swaying this time ;-), and the last stretch back along the Queen K became a bit of a chore.

the Run

The only target I had really set for Hawaii was to run three thirty something. Achilles problems of the past few years had been in abeyance for a good few months and I really wanted a solid run here, not having had one for a decade or so!!
And to cut a long story short, I felt good as soon as trainers hit tarmac and stayed that way for the whole 3hours 33 minutes - job done, thank-you!

On the whole then, a day out to be chuffed with. Not a completely unqualified success, but the day I have that will be the last day I race... Only 4 minutes outside my pb in Hawaii ten years ago (and all of that on the swim) with a best
bike and run time (just).

(Say it quietly, but this was actually hundreds of places further down the field than 2000, reflective of better conditions and standards. But shussh, eh...?)

I can live with 4 minutes in a decade and the thought springs to mind that the year I last raced as well in Kona I also pb'd over the distance....Hmmmm..I wasn't really up for much next season beforehand, but that new 'Challenge' race just announced in France looks like it should be pretty quick... Seeds...?

And Hawaii 'The Race'; big picture..?

Mixed feelings to be honest.

OK, so its Hawaii - and (as Max Boyce might say) I was there..

It was certainly gratifying to prove to myself (maybe to some others, but mainly me) that I could still qualify for, and race pretty solidly in, Kona. Having now qualified at 5 races, over 4 age groups, in 3 continents and 2 decades the Ego is satisfied.

(for now..)

It was lovely to be there with some of my own athletes who had qualified, and with quite a few friends and new and old aquaintances, all of whom did spiffingly well.

BUT, I just don't think I'll be in a rush to go back...(and yes, I appreciate this is easier to say having been a few times..!).

As a race, it's not the best (it's just that it's THE race)...There are better.

The hype and commercialisation stick in the craw a little and the WTC has basically become a machine for extracting cash from athletes and their supporters. Far too much emphasis on monetisation, sticking their brand on any tat that will sell and protecting and promoting brand position, image and market share and all that bollocks. Everything they do seems calculating and somewhat cynical. $55 for a pasta party is fucking ridiculous.

So, I'll leave it for now I think..

..at least til my ego needs a shot in the arm. Or maybe the next age-group..?

2010-06-13T06:25:00.004+01:00

All the sports psych stuff reckons that goals should be made public and all that, so here goes (this of course assumes that this actually counts as 'public'....

Goal for Kona: run 3.3? That's it...

Hawaii training goals, some boxes to tick along the way:

Swim 10k in one day
Swim 20k in one week (yep,these two will probably be in the same week)
Swim 1.35 per 100m or quicker in all sets
Swim 4 lengths lake Montriond (that's in one go...)

Bike to Tywyn from home
Bike from Tywyn (probably not in the same day)
Ride to Avoriaz x 5 in one day
Climb 5000m in one day (the above doesn't count..)
100 rides in 100 days again
200k ride in KL

Train 17.36min in 36hrs (why....? Answers on a postcard please..)

Run to avoriaz from Morzine

2010-04-18T09:20:00.003+01:00

Majorca camp

"Go hard or go home and we can't go home so...."

It's looking like those that were planning to be in Majorca with us for one week will be here for two (or more...) Obviously there are worse places and situations to be stranded in and spirits remain high. BUT those that were coming to join us for the second week won't make it at all. NOT GOOD.

Friggin Icelanders have pinched all our cod, 'lost' squillions of dodgy investments, given us the squeeking Pixie that is Bjork, and now a sodding cloud of Volcanic ash grounding half of Europe! I've gone off them.

2010-04-08T10:46:00.005+01:00

Little things...

I was delighted to find that the aforementioned ' Wankers Corner' refreshment establishment (near Urinal, Oregon - see previous post..) actually has it's own website. Apart from informing us that there is a 'Head Wanker' it also includes gems such as:

"Stop by our online gift store a pick up your official WANKERWEAR today!"
T-shirts, hats, sweatshirts, boxers, panties, coffee cups, pint glasses, key chains, penlights and sunglasses are always for sale, and are shipped Worldwide.

(panties..?!)

"YOU can shock your friends by having your next party at the wankers corner. Break tradition and let Wanker's give you a party that will tarnish your reputation."

"For a lousy 15 bucks we'll give the guest of honor a Wanker's coffee cup or beer glass, a key chain, and panties or boxers."

(panties again...!)

WANKER’S SPIRITS
PLEASE REMAIN SEATED UNTIL THE RIDE COMES TO A COMPLETE STOP.

Cocktails include:
THE BLOODY WANKER
Our version of the favourite hangover cure. Absolut Vodka and our own special recipe.

ULTIMATE WANKERITA
The supreme margarita! Jose Cuervo Gold, Cointreau,
Sweet n’ Sour & a splash of Grand Marnier, all on the rocks..........7.75

"ARE YOU A WANKER?
If you are looking for a career in food service, or just a part-time job, see a manager for an interview."

and finally:

"So if you feel like it, grab your nuts here. They're free."

2010-04-06T23:38:00.002+01:00

....and that reminds me.... the annual Majorca camp is imminent :-) :-)

(I got knocked off by an idiot in a rental car yesterday...
....bloody hertz)

2010-03-15T19:19:00.003Z

Hardly a frigging surprise is it;

a) that the marketing mercenaries at our beloved WTC would sanction it..

b) that I'd bloody get some..

2010-03-14T18:35:00.004Z

Good article from Matthew Syed in the Times this week:

One life, new goals, just a kind of madness for Michael Schumacher

Michael Schumacher is bonkers: 41 years of age, the German retired three years ago to spend more time with his millions, has done little of note in the interim beyond crashing a few motorcycles and conducting tests for Ferrari, yet he dares to believe that he can return to the fastest and most exacting of sports and wrestle the glory away from a younger, sharper generation. “Schumi”, it is probably fair to say, is just about the only person on the planet who believes that he can win the title for an eighth time.

Michael Phelps is another nutter. The American swimmer went to the Olympic Games in Beijing planning to win eight gold medals over the course of nine short days. We all knew he was talented and had arms and legs the size of oars, but this was just plain silly. Even Ian Thorpe considered the task hopeless, but that energised Phelps all the more. “The more negative they are, the more determined and more certain I am to do it,” Phelps said. “If I have an ambition, whatever it is, nothing is going to stop me.”

Some would call it bloody mindedness — the stubborn refusal to countenance one’s limitations — but is it really so different from a type of madness? When Muhammad Ali took on George Foreman for the world heavyweight championship in 1974, nobody — not even in his own camp — felt that he stood a chance. Except for the man who would go on to win the bout and transform the world. If, as Orwell put it, a “lunatic is a simple minority of one”, Ali must have been the craziest athlete in history.

Take any sportsman who has achieved epic things and you will discern a willingness to defy the wisdom of crowds. Who beyond Lance Armstrong believed that he could rise from his deathbed to win the Tour de France seven times? Who beyond Jesse Owens supposed that he could mount the podium four times in Berlin in 1936? Who other than Steve Redgrave (and, possibly, Matthew Pinsent) gave credence to the idea that the ageing rower could roll back the years to win a fifth gold medal in Sydney?

read more:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/matthew_syed/article7055783.ece

2010-03-11T09:10:00.005Z

IM Malaysia pt2 - thewaceweport'

First off it was bloody hot..

Even the swim was way too warm for comfort. No wetsuits obviously and an annoying current made for a very slow swim (that and a lack of swimming ability at the moment that is).

The Bike was not too bad in terms of the heat as long I was moving quickly enough to get some air cooling. As soon as the speed dropped on hills the heat hit home. The usual nutrition strategy worked well on the bike - with the addition of several gallons more fluid intake. All in all a pretty comfortable ride considering. Being buzzed by mopeds from time to time kept me alert. They often seemed to be carrying an entire nuclear family too..The roadside monkeys were something of a diversion as well.

Off the bike, bang on schedule, into T2 and it was on with run shoes and the comedy legionnaires cap and out onto the run. Now the heat really hit home. It was as warm as an Arabs airing cupboard (40+degrees C apparently). Most of the run was a constant mental battle not to slow down/ walk / jump into the barrels of iced water at each aid station. Constant soaking in cold water was the order of the day, but by 30k or so I was starting to flag.

The mother then informed me (via one of them 'new fangled Rasperry gadgets') that I was in 3rd place in my AG - which would give me a Hawaii slot..

.. after that it was easy

(Did I mention it was quite warm..?)

2010-02-25T09:08:00.003Z

Ironman Malaysia..

Lumley decides to train for the hottest ironman in the world during the worst English winter in living memory (since the last one,at least).

Well, it seemed like a good idea back in September when the idea was hatched... Training for a winter IM race was a novel challenge, it gave me an excuse to catch up with an old friend who is living the expat dream in Kuala Lumpur (in a house the size of an oil refinery) and anyway, I had a plan.

This consisted of putting a couple of heaters in the conservatory to turn it into a heat chamber (how middle class am I..?)and doing the majority of riding in there on the much abused Computrainer with a couple of layers of thermal and fleece on. A Babylon5 box set was purchased which provided ~ 130hours of DVD to while away the hours. For those of you not au fait with slightly obscure, cult Sci-Fi its a great story if you can get past the ocasionally dodgy acting and CGI and always dodgy hairdo's. I managed to get about 96 episodes into it anyway.
Most running was on the treadmill in a sweaty gym with a couple of layers on.
Acclimation was the idea and I felt pretty confident I had - right up to the point I arrived in Malaysia. The next post, after the race, may be a bit more emotional; fuck, it's hot here..(and very foreign).

Still, cracking place! (Eh Gromit?)

(Where did it all go wrong?)

2009-12-02T15:59:00.002Z

"at every trough you stop to feed,
with your Arrogance, your Ignorance and Greed"

spread the word..

2009-12-01T18:02:00.002Z

Quite interesting blog article (blarticle?) pinched from Paul Newsome's excellent 'Swimsmooth' site, by top open water swimmer Shelley Taylor Smith:

The people you allow into your life and who you spend the most time with, are the greatest external factors to the direction your life will take. Yes, external influences are that powerful.It is known that you will be the combined average of the 5 people you spend the most time with; you will have the combined lifestyle, health practices, thinking processes, expectations and income.Think about it. Whatever is consistently entering your experience ends up becoming your reality. Similarly, whoever is consistently in your experience is bringing dominate thoughts, attitudes and actions to your reality.Who we spend our time with determines what conversations dominate our attention and the observations, attitudes and opinions we are repetitively being introduced to.Eventually, we start to eat what they eat, talk like they talk, read what they read, watch what they watch, treat people how they treat people, even dress like they dress and think like they think. All the while this may not even be a conscious transition.

the rest can be found here: http://www.feelforthewater.com/2009/10/shelley-taylor-smith-stop-and-think.html

2009-10-27T08:32:00.002Z

Cyclo-cross

One of this winters' 'projects' is racing in the West Mids cyclo cross league. Fifty minutes or so of twisty - turny (technical term), lung busting, efforts provide a shot in the arm for both fitness and bike handling skills... I'm managing to hold my own in the old gits category, although it's emerging that my main goal is to beat a certain 17 year old girl... Is this somewhat sad or just realistic goal setting? Anyway, thoroughly enjoying it thus far, although this may well change I'm told, when we get some 'real' cross weather (mud, basically...)

2009-10-06T12:40:00.003+01:00

So... there is somewhere for them all...

Somewhere near Urinal, Idaho apparently - definitely not Luffbraa contrary to a view folks opinions

(although....)

2009-10-06T12:29:00.004+01:00

Went to Spain last weekend to watch the Mar Menor ETU Cup race and Youth Olympic qualifier.. Some good racing and weather on Saturday, but Sunday brought us a storm and the first cancelled race I can remember being at. Obviously disappointing for those expecting to race but given the conditions it was hard to see how the organisers could do anything other than call the whole thing off. Visibility on the swim was dodgy, the transition area had pretty much blown away (seeing the portaloos blow over was midly entertaining...) and the majority of the course was waterlogged. Even getting back to the car involved some interesting 'fording' of the now fast flowing main 'road'.

2009-10-06T12:18:00.002+01:00

Well... Al has finally achieved his lifelong ambition and finally owns his own Cafe. After years of market research and keeping all the local eateries in business he now has his own. Check out The Railway Cafe at Wombourne (www.therailwaycafe.vpweb.co.uk). (He's V proud of the new coffee machine).

I'll never have to cook again...!

2009-10-06T11:38:00.002+01:00

divine intervention....?

(Kedzierzyn - Kozle ETU Cup race)

2009-09-02T21:38:00.003+01:00

For bike handling madness this beats that thairy guy twattin about on rollers hands down:

2009-08-27T09:11:00.005+01:00

HYDE PARK CALLING...

I have had 2 trips to Hyde Park in the last couple of months, for completely different things, but have walked away from both grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. First up was the all too infrequent 'pilgrimage' to see New Jersey's finest export at the Hard Rock Calling concert. I managed to miss his Bruceness warming up with The Gaslight Anthem (see below) but it seemed to do him good as he delivered one of the best sets I've seen in 26 gigs. To (mis)quote Johnny Cash; we got our moneys worth in the first 15 minutes and the rest of the show was free! I'm still smiling about it...

(and have been listening to the Gaslight Anthem fairly solidly since - check the clip from their slot at Glastonbury - with surprise guest..)

A few weeks later and it's Hyde Park again as the (slightly tatty..?) venue for the ITU World series Triathlon. Again I left with a grin which lasted quite a few days after watching Stimpy begin to reap the rewards of several years of hard work and self belief you could break rocks on (and a few have tried...)

2009-08-21T10:35:00.001+01:00

2009-08-19T19:06:00.001+01:00

Nicked this - just for Non.....

Two thirds of the Welsh population will have internet access by the year 2020, according to a progress report issued today. The world wide web currently stops at Chester, but Welsh internet bosses are hopeful that the information superhighway will make its way across the border in the next decade, allowing the principality's population to join the electronic communications revolution. "We've got a lot of exciting plans for the 'Wales Wide Web' when we finally get it up and running," said Dyffwyn Gryfftydd, head of the Welsh Council for Technological development."We're hoping to install a computer in Cardiff, one in Swansea and another in Llanfairfechan. They will be joined together by a network of three long wires. People will be allowed to pre-book time on them to 'surf the web', and there will be a technician on hand to operate the keyboard for them," he added. Users of the Welsh internet will be able to access dozens of useful websites, such as ones showing the tide times in Harlech, Aberystwyth and Prestatyn, what's on at the Mold Arts Centre, the height of Snowdon and up-to-the-minute news about slate. "We''re even planning tohave a website for the kids, called Clwb Sboncyn, "continued Gryffydd. "It's going to feature a cartoon about Eisteddfods, a fun male-voice choir-based video game and a searchable version of the Mabinogion. It should be great fun." And the Welsh internet will also incorporate an e-mail service, similar to the one already on the world wide web. Gryffydd explained: "To sen an e-mail, the user would simply write their message on paper and post it to the operator of his nearest computer, where it would be typed in and 'e-mailed' to the computer nearest to the recipient.""Here the message would be printed out, placed into an envelope and mailed to the addressee's local post office. to check their email in-box, the recipient would simply pop along to their local post office and ask the old lady behind the counter if they had received any emails that day," he continued. "We haven't finalised the costing yet, but we anticipate that the price of sending an e-mail across the Wales Wide Web should be no more than fifty to sixty pence," added Gryffydd. Meanwhile, Wales' glitterati are said to be queuing up to launch their own websites. Gravel-voice Bonnie Tyler told us: "I'm really excited about the Welsh internet. I'm planning on setting up my own web page http://www.bonnietyler.co.gogoch/, where my fans can look at a picture of me and see a list of shops where they can buy my latest cassette, which has been top of the Welsh Album charts - Ppop y Topydd Cymraeg - since 1988." Other Welsh A-listers who are also said to be interested in setting up their own sites include Max Boyce,Ruth Madoc and Pricey out of Please Sir. The Welsh internet will run from 9:30am to 4:00pm weekdays and 9:30am - 12:00pm on Saturdays. It will be closed on Sundays and Bank Holidays. {Please note, this wasn't copied out of Viz for me to do touch typing practice, OH NO!!

2009-08-19T17:36:00.003+01:00

While by all accounts (with the probable exception of one P Graves) the IMUK was pretty much a pile of cack, I gather the finish was half decent and this is one of the best IM finish line photos I've seen:

....CY realising that she had a chance to get under 13hours and going for it...! Did she do it? Ah, well......

Anyway, gotta go, it's womens high jump time at the world athletic Champs.

2009-08-12T18:03:00.001+01:00

.. of course, now I'm wondering if I can do it again...Challenge Barcelona anyone?

2009-08-12T16:57:00.006+01:00

Challenge Roth

Indeed they are; the towns of Roth and Hippolstein part own the race and race organisation and support are second to none. I've raced Roth 4 times before, when it was Ironman Europe and generally had a pretty good time there - it's a fast course and the ideal one to choose to see if I could sneak under the 10h mark once again in my 30th IM distance race (the last time had been at Roth 9 years ago..). The plan was simple - to bike quite hard to get as close to 5h as possible and then see what was there on the run. The swim went well, bike was one of the best I've had, so it was down to the run, and, having had the best part of 4 months off running to try and sort out long term achilles problems (many thanks to Nick Allen at Birmingham Ballet), it was a bit of unknown factor..... First half went well, but struggled from 25-35k and lost some time. However, I picked up a little after this and with 5k to go I was told I had 22mins to get under the ten hours - gave it a go but as I crossed the line the clock read 10h 04 mins! I was gutted for a moment but had had a damn good race and had to be happy with that.

Then I got this:

Oh yeah....!!

(apparently a certain C. Wellington went quite well too...)

2009-07-07T10:52:00.003+01:00

Great to see Jodie, Bex and Non featured on the Channel 4 Windsor coverage - definitely a better TV job than at Blenheim or Strathclyde, methinks....
(any one else wondering who writes the commentary script though....?)

"Love of fame is the last thing even learned men can bear to be parted from"

2009-07-05T11:52:00.001+01:00

OK... so what do the body language experts reckon to this one?

Caption competition anyone..?

2009-07-05T11:11:00.001+01:00

Yeah, yeah, I know........!!

So, how've you been?

2007-11-28T20:23:00.000Z

Congratulations! Active has successfully processed your application, and you are now officially registered for the event listed below.

Your registration for the exclusive IRONMAN France – Nice Triathlon 2008 is confirmed. Here under please find your data's, would you please check it and contact us if you want to update any data's.

....aw fuck.....!

2007-11-28T20:03:00.000Z

This is fucking hilarious:

Subject: not dissimilar to england's most recent performance...http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=SmnjV5juzw4

(any takers for a Sportex experiment...?)

2007-11-28T19:56:00.000Z

Couldn't think of much to waffle on about, found this piccie of Glenn on his Tour de France, and he seems to have saved me a thousand words...!

2007-11-03T22:43:00.000Z

..just been to the gym and there's a new machine in there. I only used it for an hour or so as I started to feel sick.
It's good though - it does everything......

...KitKats, Mars Bars, snickers and crisps!

2007-11-03T22:41:00.000Z

apparently this is hilarious in Wales (tickled me a bit too...)

As a cyclist, you are much, much better equipped for Halloween than the
average person. Why? Because you already wear outrageous costumes on a
daily basis.
Think about it. Even though you are a (presumably) sane adult, you wear
a shirt that would look much more at home on a superhero. You wear
shorts that are much, much too tight, as if you were on your way to lead
a jazzercize class. You wear a hat that belongs on an alien.
And, to top the whole look off, you wear what sound and look like
tap-dancing shoes.
It's no wonder, then, that cyclists tend to be pretty lazy about
dressing up for Halloween parties. Instead of putting time and money
into it, you just show up in the outfit you rode to the party in. Hey,
why not? A little sweat completes the effect, right?
What you don't realize, though, is that all your friends, family and
co-workers are rolling their eyes at your lack of imagination. "There
goes Tim," they say, "pretending again that his cycling outfit is a
Halloween costume."

It doesn't have to be that way, my friend.

By spending just a few extra minutes, you can alter your cycling outfit
for the evening, making it so you're not just "a cyclist" at the party,
but a very particular sort of cyclist. Simply follow these easy
instructions.
Doping Cyclist: Dress up in full pro kit. Use a marker to draw needle
tracks up and down one arm. Tie a length of surgical tubing above one
elbow and leave a syringe sticking out of your vein. Wheel around an IV
tower for the duration of the party. Stuff your jersey pockets with
bottles of drugs. When anyone asks what / who you are, respond that you
are a professional cyclist. When they ask what all the needles and drugs
are for, say you have no idea what they're talking about. No matter
what, do not admit you have any drug-related items on hand.
Mountain Biker (If You're normally a Roadie): Prepare for the party by
gaining 10Kg and getting 20-30 tattoos. Wear baggy pants -- baggy enough
that they keep falling down. Arrive drunk at the party and continue to
drink once you get there. Insist you have mad skillz.
Roadie (If You're normally a Mountain Biker): Prepare for the party by
putting a stick in your butt. Wear uncomfortably tight cycling clothes
for the party, drink nothing put thrice-filtered water and tell everyone
exactly how many calories and fat everything they're eating contains.

Triathlete: Don't come to the party, because you've only done four
workouts today and still need to get in one more and you don't want to
break training, no matter what.

Remind you of anyone???!!! :-)

2007-10-18T13:32:00.000+01:00

How good is this:

http://www.aglassandahalffullproductions.com/?CMP=KNC-gkw

..and why do I like it so much???

2007-10-18T13:10:00.000+01:00

2007 IMC

"Who can bolt on the most uneccessary crap to their bike award"

...and the winner is.. no 2735:

Nice Specialised Tarmac with: 2 rear bottle cages + spares, 2 (huge) frame bottles, one front aero bottle and a 'bento box' for good measure! Oh, and he's stuck on a powertap too...

2007-10-18T13:08:00.000+01:00

wahay, post race recovery Penticton stylee

2007-09-12T23:58:00.000+01:00

... bout 6 miles to go at IMC and hand eye coordination seems to have gone the same way as the legs..

(mind you, once I'd got hold of it that Kendal mint cake tasted bloody good....)

2007-09-04T05:27:00.000+01:00

Morning all...!

5am and in the wide awake club, jet lagged and knackered after a somewhat hectic 'road trip'. Dashed back from watching IMUK (more atmosphere on the moon and had to put up with more crappy commentary - see post from Lausanne last year...) to fly out with Si and Fi (not a TV channel..) to race the great and Glorious IM Canada....

We flew into Calgary, picked up our transport and accommodation for the trip - a RV approximately the size of my house - and drove out to Penticton through the Rockies and via several excellent coffee houses. No bears spotted this time but we did come across a family of reindeer nonchantly crossing the road

Penticton, and Canadians in general were as friendly and supportive as ever. Race day was superb and apparently the biggest single race start ever (2500 people). I did manage to finish this one, but not the best run time ever! Went for Hawaii or bust on the run, knowing I had to run close to 3h 30 to qualify, and got the latter.......

As it turns out 3h 32 would have done........still, nothing ventured eh...?

Discussions post race did touch on the idea that it had all gotten a bit to big and commercialised though, with queues for this and that, everything sold out and, as one veteran race watcher pointed out, "Ironman golf bags for sale in the merchadise tent for fucks sake!!"

Time to look elsewhere maybe...

Anyway, back to Manchester for 3 whole hours and out to Hamburg for more race watching at the World champs. Managed about 7 hours sleep over the weekend due to a combination of jetlag, early starts and a pissed up Irishman trying to get into his room at 3am on Saturday night. Stopped in a Hotel on the Reperbahn (it was cheap, ok!), which at least made the walk in to races on Saturday and Sunday morning quite interesting. Had lots of people racing, in lots of races; this years count of races watched to races done is now around 35:1. The weather could have been better but at least that fucking annoying commentator wasn't there this year.

2007-08-16T22:31:00.000+01:00

Geddit..? eh? eh?

..that Kes, what's 'e like...?

2007-07-30T22:21:00.000+01:00

Hey, seen our, er.....bike track..?

2007-07-30T22:18:00.000+01:00

Jode's favourite bit of tunnel (after we went back to clean up the skin...)

2007-07-15T09:56:00.000+01:00

The revised 'what's gone wrong in France list':

the dishwasher (we knew about)
The car
The phone
Anything requiring a computer
My Ipod charger

Ergomo

Polar

and..Jodie's sense of balance...

2007-07-15T09:52:00.000+01:00

...and just to prove it:

(OK - mine's the bronze one....)

2007-07-15T09:47:00.000+01:00

Well, the weather's better (34C) yesterday. Raced up to Avoriaz in the annual road race - 14km up hill ...nice...

2007-07-11T16:46:00.000+01:00

So...... In France on Lums Elite Training Camp and if it makes you feel better the weather's been shit for the past few days; 30C when we got here and snow yesterday!! Been a run on overshoes in Decathlon. The really bad news is that the dishwasher has bust

Still, ....eh...? At least the pools heated.

Been having the Harry Chapin reunion concert in the car on the way down

Hang on...... the suns out!!

2007-06-28T11:17:00.000+01:00

IM Zurich, not a good one for me as I crashed in the first 10km and dnf, a first for me.
I watched and supported for hours on the run and a bit on the bike. I saw lots of pelotons arriving together by the start line after nearly a lap, and couldn't resist the temptation and shouted 'drafters!' to the tail end of a couple of pelotons. Some spectators gave me strange looks as if 'you can't say that, they are Ironmen!'... Woo, spooky... ASI Photos should post themselves and shoot some pics there. They could be paid to have them removed.

2007-06-20T21:17:00.000+01:00

UK 70.3

...seem to have spent the last few weeks doing nothing but watch races (not that I'm complaining mind...!). Been some great performances at all of them and capped off at the weekend seeing James Gilfillan back racing (triathlon) at the top level with an impressive 2nd place at Wimbleball

But... some suspiciously similar bike (and swim) times in the 'chase group' of male pros, and they were never 'legal' the times I saw them......

.....from ZerotoHero, via the small somerset village of Little Cheating.. ??

2007-06-02T11:07:00.000+01:00

and another (I really need to throw some stuff out...):

2007-06-02T11:01:00.000+01:00

From an old BCT newsletter:

2007-06-02T10:35:00.000+01:00

" it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you are attempting can't be done. A person ignorant of the possibility of failure can be a half brick in the path of the bicycle of history."

T Pratchett.

2007-06-02T10:19:00.000+01:00

IM Lanzarote

Well.... a 'DNF'. Cant' say I'm really surprised or upset, just goes to show that no matter how many you've done, if you haven't done the work you can't 'get away with it'. Went in to the race short of running and got my come-uppance. Funny how we manage to delude ourselves!

Error: Redo from start.....

2007-05-13T13:37:00.000+01:00

This years BUSA Biathlon winner

Caption competition anyone?

2007-05-13T13:32:00.000+01:00

yeah, yeah, I know - so much for new year resolutions!!

So, how've you been?
Me.... been in Majorca for 2 weeks...great! Book up early for next Easters camp!

2007-03-22T12:02:00.000Z

I'm gonna guess that Glenn will initially be a bit dissappointed with his time in IMSA, but it sounds like it was a tough day.... Considering he spent a large part of last year in the middle of a desert (with Americans as well!) he's done great to get in the shape he did!

Jo's been a revelation! Considering she initially got involved in tri to see a bit more of Glenn and lose a bit of weight (by her own admission), she has gradually worked her way through the distances, decided she wanted to try an IM race, got her head down and got on with it! Good job Jo!

2007-03-22T11:58:00.000Z

Jarvis's in South Africa..

this from Jo Jarvis our correspondent in the southern hemispere:

"We are Ironmen!!!

Race was awesome, our overall times were 11:38 and 13:52, I'm sure you can guess who did what! Glenn is a little disappointed as he thought he would go quicker although he is taking heart from the fact that some of the pro times were well down as well - mainly due to the sea conditions and strong winds on the bike. He would have had to beat some of the male pros to qualify for Hawaii in his age group.

I had a fantastic time, didn't panic at all in the swim, bike was brilliant (my fav part) and the run, well can you believe it - I only walked through the aid stations on the last lap and some of the pros were walking - pah!!!

Jo & Glenn xxx "

2007-03-19T11:38:00.000Z

Never mind spares - take a camera phone with you on the bike!!

didn't mind the wind, rain, snow, sleet or hail yesterday but could have done without the twats in cars throwing bottles at me! Unfortunately for them I managed to catch up at some temporary lights after an adrenaline fuelled sprint, parked myself infront of the car and explained what a silly thing it was that they'd done (it may have taken me longer than that...) I also got a piccie of the reg, upon which some hooded yobbo gets out with a baseball bat! Er.... gulp!! Fortunately the sight of the camera sent him scurrying back into the car (probably worried about his ASBO ..) and they drove off, pausing only to lob something else at me. It missed but they'd wasted their precious Macdonalds milkshake..

...fuckwits...

2007-03-05T17:39:00.000Z

Wotcha!

This is worth a listen if you've a spare half hour before next Saturday.....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/networks/radio2/aod.shtml?radio2/r2_smithlectures

I did chuckle!

2007-02-14T22:47:00.000Z

This from Chris Anthony (ex UoB for those who don't know him) proving that you can't graduate in common sense:

"You all need to see what a wally I am.This was a balloon release that I did to raise money for RAG at UWE. We raised loads of money but as you are about to see, much of it may have to be given back. In my defence the wind was swirling something rotten! Anyway take a look at this and make sure you have the sound on:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wZW7_4p98k

Chris

2007-02-14T22:44:00.000Z

For all those who bitch and moan about the bike technique and pedalling sessions they get given; check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wME5NTriTco.

when you can do this come back and we'll talk about it....

2007-02-08T10:16:00.000Z

I'm honestly not expecting snow in Lanzarote, so fuck it, I'm staying in front of the fire!

2007-02-08T10:15:00.000Z

Stretching.....

(it's the new black...)

2007-02-08T09:53:00.000Z

how about this one from renowned athlete and part time physicist A. Einstein:

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts"

2007-01-31T15:52:00.000Z

One of my all time favourite for IM training:

"Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. – MattinSF (quoted in Slowtwitch)"

what's yours?

2007-01-31T15:43:00.000Z

Finally it seems I can post ... after 100 failing attempts ;-)

New Year resolution: be consistent. In the past 2 years I have been consistently inconsistent in my training with some big weeks and some with nothing at all, so this year I want to stop being inconsistent and become consistent, if this makes sense!

Races: IM Lanzarote, 5 weeks after IM Switzerland. Maybe another one in September if things go well. Early days.

Race goal: run a marathon at the end of an IM, as opposed to crawl to the finishing line.

2007-01-29T16:13:00.000Z

I know, I know...... what was I thinking!

Green... it's just so not me..

2007-01-28T22:54:00.000Z

Woke up with a minor hangover thanks to being on the outside of a birthday bottle of red from Jode (thanks Jode). Rode for 7 hours or so out in Shropshire and Wales on quiet roads in great countryside (yes, and wind...). Called in at the mothers for a slap up chicken dinner, home via Al Mac's for a generous slice of cake (with candles, bless him). Topped off with a couple of pints in the local.....
....and so to bed..

...perfick..

2007-01-25T23:27:00.000Z

finally managed to sort it so i can post on the blog again after various website crashes!

new years resolutions???

same as last year - finish sodding PHD!!!!!! be glad when i can bin that

race wise - focus on halfs and improve biking

mike

2007-01-25T12:45:00.000Z

So then, better late than never... New year resolutions anyone???

(Hmm,, how about not making promises to myself I know I'm not going to keep as a starter...)

(like keeping this up to date..)

But, given that, how about stretching more (OK, some)? Given recent niggles, aches and pains (aka getting on bit..) it's gotta be up there, and paying dividends already methinks.

And.... Big race plans this year; going for 'all the fours'. Have entered IM Canada for the 4th time, am going to race IM lanzarote for the 4th time and fully intend to qualify for Kona, yep... for the 4th time (OK I've qualified four times already but only made the trip 3 so far).

The problems occur if I manage to qualify at Lanzarote of course; what do I do at Canada? Still, a nice concern to have! It's occured to me that I've only had one decent race out of 6 at IMC and IMLz so maybe I'm 'due a good one'? It then occurred to me that i don't go for all that fatalistic crap anyway....! ('there is no clockwork in the stars, no one cares how good you are..'). So, just need to get as fit as possible and see what happens (der...!)

2007-01-24T12:35:00.000Z

Windy round your way?

Nah.....

Lanzarote's windy. Those of us planning a trip out there in May need to get used to it. Anyone under 60kg runs the risk of being blown off their bike in fact! (Anne should be OK if she has a big breakfast....). So, I've been out in the weather learning to love the wind.

Well, I say love...

...more like tolerate,

...well.. I say tolerate...

2006-12-25T01:04:00.000Z

So...... been reading.. work stuff (don't we all...?)
Pratchett (again)

Been seeing... Bruce (yeah!), Show of Hands, Seth Lakeman (all in one fortnight..great!)

Been listening to... too much fucking Christmas crap, and Bob Dylan's Modern Times (my brother finally turned me....)

You?

2006-12-25T00:44:00.000Z

Yeah yeah... I know it's been a while but I've been busy OK?

So.. how've you all been? er... happy Christmas and all that!

2006-10-05T22:11:00.000+01:00

"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them." - Steve Martin

2006-10-01T19:52:00.000+01:00

and a couple of vids for those who are bored
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGQMyN75LFQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4zVFXP6dl0
mike

2006-10-01T19:00:00.000+01:00

so, my first middle distance adventure... and despite going through a whole world of pain at various stages i quite enjoyed it.

also learnt a couple of important lessons.
1) don't expect to race well when you have't been able to train properly for the previous three weeks due to new job and house
2) racing the day after moving house is also not good

anyway the race - good atmos and friendly field, also good to see people haven't seen for a while. they know who they are.
swim - full of s@#t but swam really well and felt really comfortable for whole thing. led by over 1:30 by end.
bike - felt in control and goiing well for 2.75 of 4 laps then suddenly went backwards very quickly, from about 2/3rd to 10th in 1 lap. was going to pull out at this point once i got to end of ride.
run - decide to start running anyway, got a few miles in and had a little niggle so stopped and walked a bit. shouldn't have done that. had to have a chat with myself and tell myself not to look for an excuse to stop and to finish the run, which i did.
overall - no where near waht i'm capable of but i finished and the fuel i took in stayed down. primary goal achieved.
looking forward to the next one now.
in the middle of a break for a week or two while we sort out new house. might do a bit next week.

mike

2006-09-28T12:45:00.000+01:00

food for thought....?

http://www.xtri.com/article.asp?id=1862

2006-09-25T21:46:00.000+01:00

Grudging congratulations to Asker J who's managed to blag himself a start at IM Hawaii (it is who you know....). As someone who has devoted much of the past 15 years to qualifying for the damn thing I have to say, I find this slightly fuckin' annoying! However, those of us who have actually qualified by rights can probably accept it with a certain (entirely merited) smugness. Or is that just me?

2006-09-25T21:20:00.000+01:00

OK, so, Eastnor castle half (ish) IM distance race yesterday... Beautiful setting (see piccie), bastard race! That lovely looking lake is actually watered down gooseshit. Bike and run were just a slog and today I'm just one big ache. Oh, and to make matters seem worse I got beaten by a girl! (Ok, so it was Dr Dr Moseley, but still...). Definately the end of the season, I need a rest. Still the rain stayed away and I had a better time than Mike C.

Oh, and today I had my entry for IM Canada accepted, I'm sure I'll be chuffed before too long...

..well pretty sure....

...won't I?

("And your in in love with all the wonder it brings,
as every muscle in your body sings..."

2006-09-19T10:30:00.000+01:00

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. KennedyInternational Airport as he attempted to board a flight while inpossession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction."Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x ' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but it has been determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say: 'There are three sides to every triangle'."When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.

2006-09-15T16:25:00.000+01:00

Just had this link to spoof IMan tips sent http://ironman.com/columns/gruenfeld/lee-gruenfeld-has-some-advice-to-ironman-athletes-everywhere.-follow-at-your-own-peril
(thanks Alicia)

tres amusement Rodney!!
Sample below:

Q: What's the best single idea you've heard for what to put in the special needs bag?

A: A cappuccino machine.
Hands down, that's the best idea I've ever heard, and I’m not talking about one of those little stovetop pieces of junk you buy in a Parisian schlock shop for fifteen Euros. I'm talking about one of those gigantic, copper clad Pasquini Liva numbers that can squirt six cups of espresso at a clip and has a foam-making nozzle like a fire hose. You'll not only give yourself a rip-roaring caffeine rocket boost, you'll be the hit of the race as your triathlon buddies line up for a crack at the next free spout.
And (but don't say you heard it here) you might even be able to snag a few bucks hawking fresh mocha lattes to the spectators huddled against the rain in Hawi. Just bear in mind that this is a health-conscious crowd so be sure to also stash some fat-free creamer in that special needs bag.

2006-09-12T14:38:00.000+01:00

...Krystal finally works out that maybe she needs a custom bike....

2006-09-11T22:03:00.000+01:00

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.> >(Now I know why they record these conversations!):> >> >Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; May I help you?"
> >Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> >Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
> >Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
> >Operator: "Went away?"
> >Caller: "They disappeared."
> >Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> >Caller: "Nothing."
> >Operator: "Nothing??"
> >Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> >Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
> >Caller: "How do I tell?"
> >Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
> >Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
> >Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
> >Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
> >Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
> >Caller: "What's a monitor?"
> >Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
> >Caller: "I don't know."
> >Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
> >Caller: "Yes, I think so."
> >Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
> >Caller: "Yes, it is."
> >Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
> >Caller: "No."
> >Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
> >Caller: "Okay, here it is."
> >Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
> >Caller: "I can't reach."
> >Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
> >Caller: "No."
> >Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
> >Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
> >Operator: "Dark??"
> >Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
>> Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
> >Caller: "I can't."
> >Operator: "No? Why not??"
> >Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
> >Operator: "A power...................................... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and> manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
> >Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.">
>Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
> >Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
> >Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> >Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
> >Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer".

2006-09-10T20:43:00.000+01:00

Anne F on her way to 5th at IM UK despite the 'unleaded' coke! (see below...)

2006-09-10T20:16:00.000+01:00

you think you've got problems....

One of my athletes is currently training for 'just' a marathon 'cos he cant swim or bike much at the moment. Things aren't going too well for him, his last lot of feedback included the 'usual' complaints of long, irregular and unsocial hours at work, the stress of being the boss, dodgy weather, poor motivation to train etc, etc. However, it also included the line "there is always the constant worry of rocket attacks which are very frequent".
You can probably work out where he is...

2006-09-08T21:27:00.000+01:00

Better late than never i suppose......finally got round to joining- time management skills... eh, what are they??!
Mike- have you actually started a job..... don't be seeming to do much work!!!

2006-09-07T21:46:00.000+01:00

well working sucks from a training point of view but hopefully i'll get more time when we move house and i cut down on the 2+ hours of commuting.
seriously though new job seems good, at least i can see a point to it which is better than the phd which i'm still writing.

been reading jeremy clarkson - very good and funny mostly

listening to - not a lot other than radio until i get itrip or cd player set up in car
did buy new razorlight and orson albums last week though and may have time to listen evetually

playing - GTA gone back to vice city for a bit of mindless violence

just to end - something i think we should do in training - see video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3S0wu4Zbfk

you've prob all seen it

2006-09-06T23:24:00.000+01:00

Some more stuff about Lausanne

Good stuff:

All those medals! Bout time Tim..
Lausanne itself, a great setting for all the races and one which was prepared to give itself over to the athletes for over a week of pretty well organised racing.
Catching a ferry to a race start - very civilized.
Simon's haggling with a Spanish / Swiss conductor over the price of bike passage on the ferry (he got a good deal).
Registration in the Olympic Museum!

and most of all... 'Stimpo' on the podium as a world champ! Shame they only had one set of medals so she didn't get one to keep! Still, nice flowers though.

not good stuff:

my race - see below
Katie's race (she may tell you more......)
That BLOODY COMMENTATOR! Bad enough for a whole day at IMUK, but for 4 days of racing in Lausanne he drove me mental. Like Chinese water torture.
ITU officials - well, some of them. Especially that one that ran the swim start, officious git!
Tim Don's facial hair, he's bound to regret those podium photos before too long.
Swim goggles. (Not everyones, just mine).
Paying £140 for an OD race, even the worlds doesnt justify that, however smart the 'free' rucsac.
THE TRANSITION AREA (8% of the race spent in there!!)

those that were there add your own....!

2006-09-06T20:43:00.000+01:00

Been reading: 'Deception Point', Dan Brown. Crap, but you've gotta know what happens... (I was on 'holiday!)

Been listening to:
everything (iPod on shuffle on those long French motorways)

Show of Hands (as usual)

Quite a few old punk tracks whilst educating the youngsters with Si (they said they didn't think much of it but they would...)

You?

2006-09-06T13:35:00.000+01:00

Found these, and thought of you lot

You know you're a triathlete when...

you have a lifetime supply of water bottles, safetypins, and t-shirts.
you have trouble keeping lunch under 2000 calories.
you usually wake up at 5:00 in the morning but don'tget to work until way after 9:00.
you have a £4000 bike strapped on top of your £2000car.
you're always wet .... sweat, pool, lake, sea water,shower, bath, or rain.
your car has at least one energy bar wrapper and waterbottle on the floor
your kids idea of playing is a race and awards ceremony.
you depart in morning with swim bag, bike, and running shoes in case you can get away at lunch for a workout.
you take triathlon junkets instead of vacations
you have far more shoes than your wife
your kitchen cupboards are organized into "protein","carbs" and "etc"
you bring bottled water to a party so that you're properly hydrated for the next morning's long run.
everyone else at the party also brought their ownbottled water because you don't have a social lifeoutside of triathlon.
Oh yeah, and they all showed upby 7pm and left by 10pm.
your 8 year old comes home with the school record forthe mile and says, he took it out in a nice pace he could hold.....everyone else died.
you ask your wife, girlfriend, or sister for legshaving advice.
you mention a race and somebody responds "running or biking" and you are again forced to explain....
you wear your bathing suit under your work clothes tomake a fast transition from work to swim on your lunchhour.
you name your two new puppies Kona and Hawi
your spouse wants dinner out and a movie, so you agree, but fall asleep during the previews.
you show up at the neighborhood pool on your bike in a speedo and embarrass your teenage daughters.
you've spent more on bikes in the last 10 years thanyou have on clothes for the past 50
somebody hands you a cup of water and you have to restrain yourself from pouring it over your head.
you forget that talking about daily LSD and speedweirds some people out.
you feel like you took the day off because all you did was swim 3000 yards.
Cars pass you on the road when you're driving and youeither drop back to get out of draft zone or speed upto attack!
your bed-time reading on your night stand consists ofa pile of: DeSoto catalogs; InsideTri; Triathlete,VeloNews, USMA Swim, etc.
you haven't bought work clothes in two years, yet you own bike shorts made by every manufacturer under the sun and can recite the merits of CoolMax, Supplex,etc. in your sleep!
you know you could make a killing at Jeopardy if onlythe categories were: - Past winners of Hawaii Ironman- Legs shaving techniques - 40-30-30 diet -Aerodynamics racing wheels - Gastrointestinal problemsand long runs - How to justify a £4000 bike
When asked, how old you are you answer 35-39.
Your traning is more limited by available time thenhow far you can run.
Nobody believes you when you say 'Never again'.
You take part in the corporate challenge to improveyour base speed.
In the summer your legs are smoother then yourgirlfriend's.
You need a picture for a job application and you onlyhave race pictures.
You use running T-shirts to clean your bike.
You think there are only two seasons during the year,racing and off.
when you see some lady watering her flowers and askher if you can borrow the hose for a minute so you canfill up your water bottles.
You clean your bike more often than your car
When asked to mow the lawn in 90 degree heat, you saythat its too hot to do that (and you mean it) and then an hour later you go on a century ride because its sonice out.
you mow your legs more often than your lawn.
You tell your co-workers that you are going to "do along brick" on saturday and just expect that they knowwhat you are talking about.
You are convinced that if you rest more than one day,your muscles will atrophy, your ultra-fit body willturn into a pile of goo and everyone in your age groupwill beat you.

...and my personal favourite...

Whilst out running you come across someone who needs an ambulance and start your stopwatch before running off to call one!

...Which of course means that you stopped it before going to help them..

(yep, I actually managed this one)

2006-09-06T13:22:00.000+01:00

43 MINUTES for an OD run! Can't remember the last time I ran that poorly, but managed to save it up for the Worlds! Had a decent swim and bike (painful climbs but fun descents) but an appalling run it must be said. Things weren't made any better by managing to miss the turn round and heading in to the finish after only 5k, just because some marshall was sat on his arse! Nothing to do with me.
Oh, and contrary to popular opinion, I didn't lose the plot after this and start cussing like a navvie at the top of my voice!

Ok, I did a bit...

..quite a lot

...I'm told..

2006-08-31T09:01:00.000+01:00

first off congrats to those that raced the aquathon yesterday. especialy jodie who managed to win the junior race in lausanne and win the aquathon series here in the same day despite being hundreds of miles away! i have to say i think the local race was the bigger one to win!!! it was certainly my A race for the year.
anyway good luck to everyone racing the weekend - have a good one

2006-08-27T22:00:00.000+01:00

Well i'm not sure i can say i enjoyed every second of the ironman last week like Goody but it was a great day for me and i certainly enjoyed finishing! Very pleased with my result though and a big thank you also to everyone there cheering us all day. I did miss my four legged running partner though and i reckon i missed the full fat coke - you could say i was a bit gutted to find out that diet coke was being given out on the run, just maybe i could have had a better run, but hey i'll just have to prove it next time! Anyway, i think i'm pretty much recovered now and looking forward to racing next week...
Lets see if this blog works now!

2006-08-23T22:15:00.000+01:00

As promised - photo of 'thongman' from IMUK. Dubious thanks to Si for going well into E4 zone to catch him up and get the photo!

Caption competition anyone?

2006-08-23T22:03:00.000+01:00

come on boro!!! just thought i'd share my joy at beating the champions for the 2nd year running.

world domination ahead for the soon to be mighty reds

2006-08-23T16:41:00.000+01:00

...get silly hair cut?

Well, I'm off tomorrow to France to stock up on cheap red wine and coffee and for the World Champs next weekend (which are in Switzerland I know). Quite a few TTC athletes and friends racing one way or another. First time I've done the 'little' distance and I'm quite looking forward to it, I'll do my best to keep in touch! Glad to see some interest in the blog already - hopefully a few more by the time I get back.

Been reading: 'Slaying the Dragon' by Michael Johnson (recommended by a 16 yr old athlete - there's a moral there somewhere....) Well worth it - V. inspiring!

Been listening to: 'The Crossing', Big Country (teks yer back..)

you....?